Leave the soap – Part 2.

Welcome back! 🙂

First – read part 1

(Or this will seem even more random than it is!)

So as you can see – things were slightly awkward in the first few minutes of being in this room with mr crazyo. But it had only just begun.
I got dressed, (In the bathroom)  and went back into the room…. This is where he started with his war theory. I sat, for 10 minutes, staring at him as he moved around the room, explaining his theory of 40 million people dying. His hair flying manically around his face, his arm twitching and his little, crazy, laugh slipping out as he said something he really enjoyed like

“Only survivor”

“Everyone you’ve ever known killed!”

I didn’t know what to do. I  kinda started to laugh when he finished.

What did he expect me to take from that? So awkward!!

Then he picked up his camera, thought for a minute – put it back down, and then he showed me where I could move.
He had no lights – so, I had one corner of the couch that I could sit in – that happened to be the one corner of the room with a low lit lamp on the wall. I had to bend, to make sure my face was under it. But not just bend – like, tilt my head to one side, half laying down, but propping myself up because he wanted it to just look like I was siting… and – do all that while looking like I’m just casually sitting comfortably on a chair.
But then……

“Your happy, your sad, your frightened, your surprised, your scared, petrified, joyful, mysterious, curious, angry, loving, sorrow-full, disappointed nervous, hurt, sick, excited, and shameful.”

He picked up his camera again.

“Oh, all at once?”

Camera went down, his bouncing around the room, Flinging hair, and swaying arms started again. The excitement – or exasperation – or – just full on randomness – rose in his voice. He was louder, slightly squeakier, and suddenly much more pronounced!

“Yes, yes, all at once. You’re an actor, I am testing you, show me what you can do”

“OK”

So, I started again.

“No, No No, Too many photographers focus on your face, why do all  photographers you work with want pictures of your face?! I want to destroy art. But that, in itself is art too! I want you to show all these emotions, all at once, but not showing your face, show them to me, with your body – maybe even just a finger!”

I really couldn’t help but laugh. Bob here was officially crazy. I posed, I moved, I fell on the floor, (When I did that he loved it!) he asked L to smudge my make up, we made me look as ugly as possible. The more ragged, scraggly, awkward I looked, the happier he got. Not awkward in the, yeah cool this is great high fashion, awkward. More like, awkward looking after the longest  night of your life, no sleep same clothes for day’s – not brushing your hair, getting beaten up in a dark alley, crying your eyes out –  and then dragged through a bush and a garbage heap –  to a photo shoot – and put in front of the camera –  awkward.

So, after an hour and a half of all this crazy-ness, including some Shower shots (No, I didn’t take my clothes off.. I was fully dressed, standing in the shower, with no water running, holding a cell phone… Not quite sure what his vision was there, maybe he thought I’d start to strip once I got in the mood!?!?) 
It was time to go… so we had to take off the disaster he had made us make on my face. L asked him if we could use the products the hotel provide by the sink (soap, shampoo, moisturizer, etc.. at this hotel it was Kiss my face products!)
Bob shouted from the other room.

“Yes, feel free, take all that stuff from the bathroom, I’m leaving right now so need nothing!”

So we did.. We used stuff.. And took the rest.

After another bit of confusion, trying to understand the crazy scientists theory that because we didn’t do the army part of the shoot, he should pay me less than we had agreed on.(I don’t think so, Mr crazy!) And having to have my ID photographed, and my voice recorded on  his cell phone, saying I sign a release to the pictures (He had decided to take the whole “Paperless” thing very serious!)  Finally,  we left, picked up the car from the valet, and watching some interesting characters leave the hotel and bar, we drove away… quickly!
10 minutes later, I get a text message from  Mr Bob,

“You could have at least left the soap!”

Uh…. What? I was confused and reminded him that merely 20 minutes before he told us to take it all. (Although the soap – the tiny bar of soap, was actuuually the one thing we didn’t take, but had to use while we were there, and I guess the mess he made of my face needed to use the whole thing to scrub it all off!)
He then went into denying he said anything (Although we both heard it) and emailing texting and calling – basically just being a crazy person – and ending them all with:

“You took the soap!”

I was a little shaken up by it, it was after all, my first experience of a Hollywood photographer. However, I also found it pretty funny. L and I had a LOT of laughs that night, and ever since, about Crazy Bob and his flying hair.

But the bottom line is this girls and guy’s – according to Mr Bob, the lesson to learn is… when going to a photo shoot in a hotel, and the photographer say’s take what you want…

Always leave the soap!

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One thought on “Leave the soap – Part 2.

  1. Pingback: Leave the soap! – Part 1 « Random Stories

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